We lost the pregnancy today. I was 5 weeks. I woke up with some spotting and took another $ Tree test and it was negative. I started crying and told Jeremy. He was just as upset.
I went to work b/c I didnt know what else to do. At 9 when the Drs office opened, I called to see if there was anything I could do. I was bawling in the parking lot on my phone when the HR lady came out. I had to tell her and she sent me home. Awful. I cant even explain it. I called mom and told her. She then told me about hers right before she got PG with me. I know its common but it doesnt make it any easier.
I got a call back from the Dr with orders for a blood test. I have to go tomorrow and Monday mornings. Awful. I spent the day with Michelle and Courtney. I am so glad to have them here. She is just wonderful. T was amazing and offered to come up but there is no sense in that.
Is this happening b/c I told people? B/c I tried on maternity clothes yesterday or bought all my books? Is this my punishment for making bad decisions in the past? I could cry right now just thinking about it and I will admit that Im writing this over a month later. Why us? We are healthy and I think we will make good parents. Does God disagree?
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