Sunday, September 30, 2007

This too is real

I started bleeding more today so I know its really happening. I went at 7 to get my blood drawn. No real point but to make sure things all come out I guess.

I spent the day with my nesties in St Augustine. They all know of course. I love them for not talking about it though. They are an amazing group of women and I know I wouldn't love Jax as much without them. Beth was there and it was great to see her. She M/C at 11 weeks and is still recovering from her D&C. I am hopeful I wont need one b/c Im so early.

Today I realized I dont know what to call this. I feel badly calling it a m/c b/c it puts it on level field with what Beth went through. I never saw a heartbeat so its not the same. But, I dont like calling it a chemical pregnancy as that offers no validation that it was real. Mom calls it a spontaneous abortion which makes my skin crawl. I guess I just say that we lost the pregnancy and leave it at that.

I sent out my retraction emails and made a few calls today. Next time I will not tell as many people. I wont wait til 12 weeks or anything, but I will wait a little longer.

Im going to crawl in bed and sleep for a while. The cramps are pretty intense. I will say though, if we werent trying and I didnt test, I would just think I was late and really heavy. I suppose people miss these all the time.

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