news from the last week..long

Since the 24th, Nathan has been nursing like a rock star. Just about every 2 hours with a 4 hour one thrown in for good measure. It wasnt all that, um, comfortable, in the beginning and I got a blood blister on my right nipple. If you have the chance to experience that, skip it. I toughed it out though and it got better. He is really getting better with his tongue so I thought it was just a learning curve.

Let me back up. When we first went to the LC (Lactation Consultant) at 6 days for him not latching, she thought he might have a minor posterior tongue tie. He wasnt able to put his tongue to the roof of his mouth or even stick it out to his lips. There was a possibility we would have to go to an ENT to talk about having it clipped if he kept showing interest but wasn't latching. I had started to pump at day 2 just to get him what colostrum I could and protect my milk supply once it came in. We had to use formula for 2 days until I could pump what he needed at each feeding. During that time, we used a syringe to feed him then moved to attaching a tube to it, feeding it next to a finger in his mouth and encouraging him to suck enough to pull the milk down. This was every 1 1/2 to 2 hours round the clock. Jeremy would feed and I would pump. Fast forward to now: he can stick his tongue out just fine and moved it where he should when prompted.

I had a really hard time with pumping and not being able to get the bonding time of feeding him. Hormones did not help the matter. It was very important to me to do everything I could to make it work as long as he was in good shape in the mean time. Using formula for even 2 days really upset me. I know it was necessary and I got over it but I will admit to being very down about it. But, the night after I had a pretty good breakdown, he figured it out. Pushing me to the edge already. =)

Back to the original train of thought...Then, Thursday, it happened again and I couldnt handle it. I called the LC at 9:30 at night b/c I couldnt handle the thought of nursing him on the right side and the left side was headed in that direction. She told me it was ok to just nurse from the left and pump the right and to use the Adiri bottle if we needed to just to make it through the night. We go in to see her the next day and she worked with the latch. Much better now! He is back up over his birth weight too which makes a momma so happy. He gained almost a pound in the 6 days since he started nursing! chunky thighs, he we come =)

If you are nursing, do not make the mistake of not asking for help. I learned this lesson from my friend Kristin and Im glad I listened. Its not something that just magically makes sense to most people so you have to work at it in the beginning. Doesn't mean it wont ever work!

What else.... he discovered this thumb and that it can be sucked. SO cute. I have a picture but cant upload it until I run up to my office. I hate my computer....

He's sleeping in about 3 hour blocks at night which is great. Those I can handle.
The cloth diapers are going great. He used to get really upset when he peed and stay upset until we changed him. As soon as we made the switch to cloth, he only fusses as he pees then settles right down. I started experimenting with the bigger dipes but I think they are still too big around the thighs.

Jeremy is great with him. From the start, he has changed diapers and was amazing when we had to do the finger feeder. Only once, at 2 day at 2am, did he ask if we couldnt just "fill him full of formula and get some sleep". I just took Nathan, figured out how to feed him myself, and he slept on my chest on the couch. I know it was just the lack of sleep talking and he has never been less than 100% supportive since.

I think that about catches us up. Now that Jeremy is back to work and I am figuring out how to make it work with Nathan alone, I think I can give more frequent updates.

Breakthrough!!!!

He nursed today!!!!!! wahooo. He nursed Friday at the Pedi's office then seemed to forget everything he knew. Then, today he nursed like a champ. I feel like I have dropped off the face of the earth but with pumping, feeding him with a syringe and tube, and trying to nurse its just been a lot. If he can keep the nursing up, I will be back in the game in no time!

Thanks for all the good thoughts while we have been struggling with this challenge.


As an aside, I have a great non-hormonal birth control method that I would be happy to share. What is this miracle product you might ask? My birth photos of course! Up close and personal with a minute by minute account of him emerging. Heather was not afraid of the zoom either =) There are some amazing pictures of right after the birth that I am so thankful for. I just wasnt ready to see myself in that condition. So, if you have a 15 yr old niece that you need to help understand the consequences of her actions, let me know and I can email the slide show. yowza is all I have to say! hahaha

Nathan's Birth Story

Monday the 11^th, his due date, I started to lose my mucus plug around lunch time. By dinner time, I had lost more. After coming home from book club, I started to have bloody show. Got a little excited but after 2 weeks of timable BH, I thought it was just another tease. Went to bed around 11 and woke up about 1:30 with 8 min. ctx. Same old, same old. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up at 2:15 and started writing the last of my thank you notes. I hopped online and started chatting with our doula, Heather, on gmail. Told her what was happening and she told me to go to bed. I did around 3. At 4, the ctx moved from 8 minutes to 5 minutes and were much more intense. Started hurting in my back too. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom since I felt like I had to go so badly.

At 6:30am, we called Heather to let her know we thought this was real. There was no reason for her to come at that point so we agreed to call the BC at 8 and page the on-call MW to give her a heads up. I labored in bed on my side in between feeling the need to sit on the toilet. Jeremy made me breakfast but I couldn’t sit down to eat it. So, I ate while on the toilet. It was the only comfortable seat. Heather kept calling to check in but we told her there was no need to come just yet.

Jeremy was a rock-star coach. He was right there with me and offered water every 3 ctx. He got out the child birth class book and read about different labor positions helping different feelings and had me moving around to try them. I wasn’t sure I could walk but he was right there to encourage me and help me. Walking circles in the living room and using him to lean on and hang off turned out to be great.

At 11:30, we called Heather to ask about the tub at home or other positions and to see if she would start making her way here. I told her the pain left my back but was super intense in my butt. She said she was just chatting about us with the MW and that why don’t we call here and meet them at the BC. WHAT?????? I didn’t think I was that far along. So, we called the MW and told her. She listened to a couple ctx and had us come in. We scrambled to pack the cooler and load the car. Its hard to do 2-3 minutes at a time. We made the first round of calls to family too.

I rode in the car kneeling in the back seat hugging the front passenger seat. We got to the BC around 12:30. I was checked and was 8-9 with a bulging bag. SO glad to hear that. I was afraid she was going to say 4 or something. I don’t even remember stripping my clothes and getting into the tub. It felt amazing. They poured water over my belly the whole time and it helped relax me so much. Around 1:30, MW checked me again and she felt like I was fully dilated. She broke my water and discovered I had a small lip left. After another little while, I could not get comfortable. That is a relative term in labor but I was flinging myself about in the tub just to try some other position. It was like I lost my mind or something. (the next day, my head hurt. Apparently I smacked it on the wall during a flinging fit) They had me get out of the tub and sit on the toilet backwards hugging a couple pillows. Felt good. I had them squeeze my hips and that was wonderful. Jeremy and Heather actually had to team up b/c I wanted so much pressure. I ended up starting to push on the toilet. After a few minutes, Heather asked what I was feeling and I told her it was burning (ring of fire in hind sight for me). She told the MW and into the bed I went. I was hoping for a water birth but I was not pushing well in the tub when we tried before.

I pushed for 48 minutes. I know I kept asking how much longer she thought it would be. I was so afraid it would be a couple hours. Pushing is hard work. Jeremy was right there in the bed with me and encouraging me with every push. There was no counting and I was able to hold my own legs. I don’t think I would have liked someone else to be pushing my legs back. At the very end, I actually didn’t even hold them but used Jeremy as leverage on one side and gripped the bed with the other. His head took a while to come out. Then Sharon had a hard time with his shoulders and thought they might be stuck. She had me push w/o ctx and that sucked. It was so hard to do. I remember asking her to just pull him out and DH said that is pretty much what it looked like she was doing. She ended up being able to get him out and I pulled him to my belly. There was a ridiculous gush of water with him. Soaked the bed. And when I say soaked, I mean soaked. I had so much water weight, it wasn’t even funny.

He was 8 pounds, 8 oz; 22 ¼” long; 13 ¾” head and 14 ¼” chest. I needed no stitches although I did tear in a couple places. I thought my urethra would be split in two, I will be honest.

Delivering the placenta was not so fun. I wasn’t feeling the heavy ctx anymore and all I wanted to do was look at my baby. Got it out though and then started bleeding. They had to give a shot of pitocin and “massage” my uterus. Um, that sucks. I was crying. It was worse than labor and pushing. I was screaming. I care not to think about it. I ended up trying to pass out a couple times so I had to chug Gatorade as to avoid a transfer for an IV.

We left at 10pm, 6 hours after he was born. It was a truly amazing experience and Im glad I got the birth I planned for. I do remember thinking though that now I get the appeal of epidurals. I have never judged someone that chooses one but have not really understood it either. Now I get it. Having the majority of the pain taken away and being able to hold a conversation during labor could certainly have its high points. As would sleeping! But, I never once thought I cant do this or I want the drugs. I am proud of myself but more for being a mother than how it happened. It was a personal choice and not a cause for medal as some would claim.

Funny stuff: Jeremy says labor noises from me sounded like I was talking to the whales in Nemo. It was so primal. I wasn’t even thinking. It just felt right. During pushing, I went high and once told to keep it low, I did and it made a difference.

While I was pushing, Heather had the flashlight on my thigh instead of on my vagina. Sharon thought it was funny to make shadow puppets on my thigh. I heard them laughing and Sharon say that I would think it was funny once I wasn’t pushing. Once they told me later, I was cracking up. You don’t get that in a hospital!

I will post more later. He is well. Nursing is challenging but we are keeping at it. I cant believe Jeremy and I created this perfect little person. He is just amazing.

opening a closed door

Why is the concept of knocking so hard? If a door is closed and you dont know 100% what is behind it, why wouldn't you knock? The mail man at my office does it to me all the time. UPS too. Now, I have a window right beside my door so you can clearly see if I am on the phone or in a meeting with a client. Who barges in?

My boss is on a call with a bank and a new sub just walked right into his office. No knocking, no pardon me, no nothing. Great way to make an impression you schmo. I had to go fish him out and into my office. While he was leaving, he did apologize for barging in. In typical Amy fashion, I explained that its probably best not to walk into either of our offices without knocking as the doors are generally shut for a reason. Then I explained that once I come back to work, I will be pumping and wouldn't want him to get an eye-full. (I will have blinds on my window by that point but I don't think it will stop anyone)

There is a therapist on my hall and I have overheard her clients do the same thing. Just barge right in on someone else's session. Clearly they know what is happening behind that door so why on earth would it make sense to just open it up 10 minutes before their session?

Has knocking gone the same direction as stopping at stop signs, using turn signals and letting people merge on the interstate?

39 weeks

Had my check up yesterday as usual. Everything is still a-ok. I gained some weight but its all water. the alfalfa pills are helping I think but I cant expect a miracle :-) All my stats were fine. I was measured at 40 weeks. Its a 3cm jump from last time but she felt like it was mostly water and not a giant baby. He's still in good position, just not ready to make an appearance yet. I decided not to ask to be checked. It really wouldnt tell me anything and would only frustrate me one way or the other. I have known girls to have had no progress who deliver that day and others who were well on their way for several weeks. Im glad the birth center does not check as a matter of practice. its something I have to ask for. Which, I know prevented me from having it done. I would have just gone with it just to satisfy my curiosity if she had said she was going to check. That would have gotten me nowhere though...

I stayed home from work to rest. It felt really good. I wish I could just be done working but giving up the paycheck is hard. So, Im back today to do what I can. If I need to go home early, so be it. Im very blessed with an understanding boss.

Dubs and I walked last night after supper. Ctx got to 4 minutes while we were walking. Got uncomfortable but never painful. I knew better than to get excited. Once I got home and sat down, they stopped. Shocking right?

Lastly, since my troll has decided to make a reappearance, I have disabled the anonymous commenting. I don't think that will hurt any one's feelings since my friends are big kids and post with their names. If you would really like to post about the fat ugly cow again, kindly do so with your name. TYVM!

brain dump

Its been a couple days and I need to just dump my brain. Ever get like that? Seems like every thing just backs up in there some times. This dump is in no particular order and may be long. Sorry.

~I am still having contractions but they are getting me no where. Last Thursday after my appt I came back to work and they stayed at 10 minutes for a long time. Then about 2pm they went to 7 minutes. That got my attention. I busted out so much work! I filed and entered items like, well, it was my job. My boss commented on how feverishly I was working. I thought that was my sick style of nesting and that he was coming that night. HA! Once I got home and the drama of the comments unfolded, everything stopped. Damnit.

Heather came over and we had a wonderful meeting. I really like her a lot and know she will be a great asset at the labor and birth. She's a smart lady! We had a great time just chatting. She answered some CD (cloth diaper) questions for me too.

Since then, the ctx have been fairly steady at 10 minutes. The more I relax, the more they come.
Double edged sword I guess. Trying to decide if I want to be checked at my appt this week since it looks like I will make it that far. Not like knowing Im dilating will tell me anything but I would love to know if there is anything going on. Chances are I will pass on the who-ha inspection but we'll see.

~Brett Favre. Seems like everyone is talking about him so why not me too? Let me first say that I am by no means the football guru. I pick fantasy players based on last names (I like the fun ones!). Granted, I have done well with this method but don't really know enough to "talk" football. That said, I have thoughts. I have lost so much respect for Favre. I have seen him as a great player and a great leader. But now, I feel like he has his head up his ass so far he can't see what he is doing. Have some pride man! Make a decision and go with it. You wanted to retire and you went out on top. Now you look like a fool. How stupid to play 1-2 yrs for a team other than the Packers??? You have taken the team's focus from where it should be and you should be ashamed. Jeremy hopes you break your leg in the first game back. I won't go that far b/c I know karma is a nasty bitch but Im awfully close to it.

~I cannot get into racing lately. The races are sucking and I can't get over it. Indy... we wont even go there. Even Montreal was bad. I get testing rain tires. But on a road course? What, 1/3 of the race was actually ran? Cautions and early checkers are not what fans wanted to see. BORING! I couldn't even get into Pocono. Not looking forward to a road course this weekend either. Michigan has potential but really, Im holding out hope that Bristol grabs my attention. I need a good fight or something. It will be one of Nathan's first races and is of course, my favorite track. Thunder Valley can't let me down!

~To update the breastfeeding fiasco: She told our MW about it who in turn posted her letter on BF message boards. It spread like wild fire and got back to the local news station. They interviewed my friend for a story for Breastfeeding Awareness Week. In the process, she learned of another woman who was harassed by the same man in the same park about a week before. She stood up to him and quoted law but he, get this, shut down the water portion for 30 minutes while she finished feeding her child!! She was no where near the water. Its not like he cleaned or sanitized the area or anything. Just made everyone get out to prove he could. What a jackass. The city's response was they were sorry for his actions and he must have misunderstood the rules. He will be educated on state law. I dont think thats good enough. I think he owes both women an apology and needs to have extensive training on customer service and breast feeding. Seriously, ignorance is one thing but to lecture women about the HIV transfer from BF is ludicrous. If you dont have the knowledge to do your job, ask for resources. Dont be an ass about it.

~Friends... I have been reflecting a lot lately on family. Family that we are born to and family that we choose. I am very fortunate to have some amazing friends that are in my chosen family. I may be an only child and Jeremy only has one brother but Nathan will not be short on aunts and uncles. I look back at Orlando and Augusta and realize I/we didnt have any real friends there. We had lots of acquaintances and friends from our pasts, but nothing more than that. I think thats why we were so unhappy. Over the past few days, we have been trying to spend as much time with friends as we can before Nathan comes. We know we wont be able to have this time back and want to savor it. We had a great meal with Nancy, Brian and Quinn this weekend. It was nice to just sit for a couple hours and chat. With some people, it feels like work to sit for that long but it never does with these guys. We are all who we are and it works.

Then last night, Jeremy and I took pizza over to Michelle and Bill's beach house and had the best time. We just sat around in comfy clothes and talked for hours. Courtney even gave my belly a hug and kiss goodnight. I melted. Love that kid. This is another couple that I am always comfortable around. We dont have to get all gussied up and never feel the need to be who we arent. Sure, I have known Michelle since college but it wasn't until we moved that I really got to know her and Bill. I am SO thankful to have them as our friends. They are just the kind of people who are there for you if you need a beer or if you actually need something.

Dont get me wrong, I couldn't do without my long distance friends too (Pam and Tracey!) but I am grateful for the ones I have here too. I like that I have friends who put me in my place when I need it but also lift me up when needed. I realized the other day that this coming school year, Pam and I will have been friends for longer than we weren't. 10th grade seems so long ago but then, it seems like just a couple years ago. Funny how time works isn't it?