So most of you know about my struggle about dealing with my dad. I havent talked to him in over a year and Im not sure why. It just seems to be the way it goes with him. There are times I feel like I should be the bigger person and just call but then I get pissed off that Im always the one to call. Its been like this for years. The only time he called me was when I kept my sister for a week.
Anyway, he does not know about Nathan. Or even that I was pregnant. I struggle with this decision daily. I also struggle with not having told the rest of that side of my family. So today, I called my favorite aunt from my childhood and told her and caught up for a few minutes. Im glad I did. She said to just join the club of Neil being a schmuck. I think she is a founding member since she had to grow up with him! Regardless, Im glad I can share this part of my life with her.
Who knows, maybe I will step up and be the bigger person one day and call him. If he would just make one shred of effort, I would return it 10 fold. I guess that is putting a condition on love though. I just would hate to tell him and him not be excited or make any effort to be a part of Nathan's life. It would be the biggest slap in the face and how would I ever explain that to Nathan? So, I keep hiding from the possibility.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
clean vs dirty
I vote that babies know clean from dirty. For instance, a brand new clean diaper is the only thing suitable to poop in. In fact, it has to be so fresh that it doesn't actually make it off the changing table. One that has been on for an hour is certainly too "used" to add more to.
A clean set of jammies is in dire need of spit up of course. The outfit they have been in all day is not good enough. Bonus points for getting it freshly washed hair.
And my favorite from today: clean sheets, clean momma. I stayed up when he woke up at 5:30 this morning and got my shower while he went back to sleep. I had just changed the sheets last night. I crawled back in bed and snuggled him next to me. When he woke up, I thought I would try nursing laying down. It wasnt as easy as I hoped but we got it. I dozed off. It was great. Then I wake up to him moaning/grunting. He's pretty gassy so I thought he was working on that and its not usually a big deal. Next up was about an ounce of freshly ingested milk. All over me, the bed, him. Note to self Nathan, dont poop and eat at the same time or you will wear it on both ends!
A clean set of jammies is in dire need of spit up of course. The outfit they have been in all day is not good enough. Bonus points for getting it freshly washed hair.
And my favorite from today: clean sheets, clean momma. I stayed up when he woke up at 5:30 this morning and got my shower while he went back to sleep. I had just changed the sheets last night. I crawled back in bed and snuggled him next to me. When he woke up, I thought I would try nursing laying down. It wasnt as easy as I hoped but we got it. I dozed off. It was great. Then I wake up to him moaning/grunting. He's pretty gassy so I thought he was working on that and its not usually a big deal. Next up was about an ounce of freshly ingested milk. All over me, the bed, him. Note to self Nathan, dont poop and eat at the same time or you will wear it on both ends!
Monday, September 29, 2008
I got pics working from home!
I went to the store Saturday evening and left the boys home alone. This is what I came home to. How stinkin' sweet is this?
Nathan rolled over again on Saturday and I had the camera ready. Here is the series from tummy time to WTH just happened?? This was his first time in a Happy Hieney. This is the only way my boy is going to have a butt. LOL
You can see the rest of his diapers in the background just waiting to be stuffed.
Im not quite sure what changed between these last 2 pics. Happy to crying in 2 seconds flat.
Now that I have had a mental victory over Kodak and their evil software, I will be posting more pictures with my updates.
Nathan rolled over again on Saturday and I had the camera ready. Here is the series from tummy time to WTH just happened?? This was his first time in a Happy Hieney. This is the only way my boy is going to have a butt. LOL
You can see the rest of his diapers in the background just waiting to be stuffed.
Im not quite sure what changed between these last 2 pics. Happy to crying in 2 seconds flat.Now that I have had a mental victory over Kodak and their evil software, I will be posting more pictures with my updates.
Friday, September 26, 2008
getting it off my chest
This is a post for me to get a thought out of my brain and just "say" it out loud. I know it will seem silly. I feel badly even thinking about it but the thought is there so before I can let it go, I have to acknowledge it, right? So, here goes.
I am a little sad I didnt have a water birth. Dont get me wrong, I loved my birth experience. But, a part of me really wanted the water birth. I dont know why or what would be different but its something I think about. I loved laboring in the water and just wanted the whole experience of it. Deep down, I know it was best for me to have delivered in the bed since his shoulders were hard to deliver. We would have been under a little more pressure to get him out quickly in the water and moving to the bed with his head out would have been a crazy process. So, I know things went the way they were supposed to, but... Again, I know its silly. I have an amazing baby and 99% had the birth I wanted. Its not like I had to transfer for an emergency C or anything so I dont know why I even think about it. Bah. OK, off my chest.
On a side note, what a completely different week from one year ago. Today, I woke up to a gummy smile and eventually green poop from a happy baby. Beats the bleeding and negative pregnancy test from a year ago today. I dont know why I even thought about it. Just sort of dawned on me yesterday. Time heals all things. =)
I am a little sad I didnt have a water birth. Dont get me wrong, I loved my birth experience. But, a part of me really wanted the water birth. I dont know why or what would be different but its something I think about. I loved laboring in the water and just wanted the whole experience of it. Deep down, I know it was best for me to have delivered in the bed since his shoulders were hard to deliver. We would have been under a little more pressure to get him out quickly in the water and moving to the bed with his head out would have been a crazy process. So, I know things went the way they were supposed to, but... Again, I know its silly. I have an amazing baby and 99% had the birth I wanted. Its not like I had to transfer for an emergency C or anything so I dont know why I even think about it. Bah. OK, off my chest.
On a side note, what a completely different week from one year ago. Today, I woke up to a gummy smile and eventually green poop from a happy baby. Beats the bleeding and negative pregnancy test from a year ago today. I dont know why I even thought about it. Just sort of dawned on me yesterday. Time heals all things. =)
back from pedi...
so he has been pooping non-stop since last night. Then this morning it turned from yellow and seedy to green and slimy. I called the new pedi and she got me right in. She doesnt think anything is wrong with him but Im glad we went all the same. Its been a couple hours since his last poo so hopefully its all out of his system.
I think we did the scale wrong yesterday because today on the digital scale at the pedi (we used the slider scale at the birth center) he was 10 pounds 7oz. I dont think he gained a pound overnight with all the pooping he did. 10 7 makes me feel a lot better about his weight gain and feeding. I know the 9.5 was fine but this makes me know for sure he's getting enough and growing strong.
He's napping now so mommy is off to find food herself!
I think we did the scale wrong yesterday because today on the digital scale at the pedi (we used the slider scale at the birth center) he was 10 pounds 7oz. I dont think he gained a pound overnight with all the pooping he did. 10 7 makes me feel a lot better about his weight gain and feeding. I know the 9.5 was fine but this makes me know for sure he's getting enough and growing strong.
He's napping now so mommy is off to find food herself!
He rolled over!
OK, So I know it wasn't the real roll over milestone but I cant believe he rolled over. I put him down for tummy time so I could email a couple friends. He usually is fine for about 5 minutes then he fusses. I turned my back and about 2 minutes later he was crying. I turn around and he is on his back. Im sure he surprised himself. I wish I could have seen it though. I know the next time wont be for a long while yet. =(
He hit his 6 week growth spurt this week too. That means feedings have been non-stop. Gone form one side for 10 minutes every 3 hours to 15+ minutes on one side and 10+ on the other every 1 1/2 hours. Still sleeping at night ok for 3 hours but the day time is rough. no more 2 hour naps this week. Growing is good though! I weighed him yesterday at my 6 week check up and he was 9 1/2 pounds. Just about a pound in the last month. Seems like thats ok. His next pedi visit is 10/7 so we'll weigh again then.
The best thing this week has been his smiles. He has been smiling at us hit or miss the last couple of weeks but this week has really been great. He is really reacting to us and the tone in our voices. I cant wait to hear his laugh. We are getting the coos now but a real laugh will be so wonderful to hear.
We also started his "big boy diapers" this week. He has been in the kissaluvs which are for the newborn period. They have been great. No leaks, no blowouts up the back, no diaper rash. I cant complain. His little legs have been too skinny for the bumGenius though. Well this week, I thought I would give it another chance and they fit. I have to really wrap it around his waist still but they didnt leak when he had a major poo. Good sign! I also had him in one over night and it didnt leak. I really stuffed it good but still. It made the night nursings so much easier. He barely woke up to nurse. I will start phasing all of his new dipes in so I can figure out which brand I like before he outgrows the kissaluvs.
Started walking this week too since the weather has been so nice. I sling him and out we go. I have 8 1/2 pounds to go so hopefully this will help some. I would love to be under my pre-pregnancy weight anyway so I need to exercise more regardless. Im glad he likes his sling.
He hit his 6 week growth spurt this week too. That means feedings have been non-stop. Gone form one side for 10 minutes every 3 hours to 15+ minutes on one side and 10+ on the other every 1 1/2 hours. Still sleeping at night ok for 3 hours but the day time is rough. no more 2 hour naps this week. Growing is good though! I weighed him yesterday at my 6 week check up and he was 9 1/2 pounds. Just about a pound in the last month. Seems like thats ok. His next pedi visit is 10/7 so we'll weigh again then.
The best thing this week has been his smiles. He has been smiling at us hit or miss the last couple of weeks but this week has really been great. He is really reacting to us and the tone in our voices. I cant wait to hear his laugh. We are getting the coos now but a real laugh will be so wonderful to hear.
We also started his "big boy diapers" this week. He has been in the kissaluvs which are for the newborn period. They have been great. No leaks, no blowouts up the back, no diaper rash. I cant complain. His little legs have been too skinny for the bumGenius though. Well this week, I thought I would give it another chance and they fit. I have to really wrap it around his waist still but they didnt leak when he had a major poo. Good sign! I also had him in one over night and it didnt leak. I really stuffed it good but still. It made the night nursings so much easier. He barely woke up to nurse. I will start phasing all of his new dipes in so I can figure out which brand I like before he outgrows the kissaluvs.
Started walking this week too since the weather has been so nice. I sling him and out we go. I have 8 1/2 pounds to go so hopefully this will help some. I would love to be under my pre-pregnancy weight anyway so I need to exercise more regardless. Im glad he likes his sling.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Outings
As of this week, I have officially had enough of being in the house. We have nursing down and I have become much more efficient at using the Hooter Hider. So, there is no reason not to get some fresh air!
Monday was book club. 4 weeks from the last one and from when I went into labor. Only seemed fitting. It was great to see the girls and Nathan was mellow. Dont ask me what the book was =)
On Wednesday, we went to lunch with Theresa and Jessica then hung out while they worked on crafty stuff. Lord knows I do not need to help with putting labels on straight. Attention to crafty details is not my strong suit to say the least. He missed one of his naps but did great.
Jess took this while Theresa was holding him. Those eyes!
Yesterday, we had a long day out. Jeremy had a lunch time hair cut so we met him for lunch then went to the mall with him. I nursed at Cracker Barrel, at the hair place then later in Belk. Yay Hooter Hider haha Anyway, he did great while Jeremy go his hair cut and I pushed my luck and got mine cut too. He was a champ! Fell dead to the world as soon as the hair dryer turned on. Good to know! The hair dresser was so impressed with how good he was. He just watched the whole time. After that, we walked around more and found some frames for his newborn pics. He fell asleep after I nursed him and stayed asleep through moving from the stroller to the car, car ride home, shopping at Publix and then about 30 minutes after we got home. My boy can sleep!!
Today we are expecting his grandparents and great grandparents for the weekend. While it might be a little hectic, I am so glad he will get to know his extended family.
I have more pictures to share and if he takes another super nap, I can work on it from home. Stupid computer! Otherwise, I will run up to my office this week to upload and post.
Monday was book club. 4 weeks from the last one and from when I went into labor. Only seemed fitting. It was great to see the girls and Nathan was mellow. Dont ask me what the book was =)
On Wednesday, we went to lunch with Theresa and Jessica then hung out while they worked on crafty stuff. Lord knows I do not need to help with putting labels on straight. Attention to crafty details is not my strong suit to say the least. He missed one of his naps but did great.
Jess took this while Theresa was holding him. Those eyes!
Yesterday, we had a long day out. Jeremy had a lunch time hair cut so we met him for lunch then went to the mall with him. I nursed at Cracker Barrel, at the hair place then later in Belk. Yay Hooter Hider haha Anyway, he did great while Jeremy go his hair cut and I pushed my luck and got mine cut too. He was a champ! Fell dead to the world as soon as the hair dryer turned on. Good to know! The hair dresser was so impressed with how good he was. He just watched the whole time. After that, we walked around more and found some frames for his newborn pics. He fell asleep after I nursed him and stayed asleep through moving from the stroller to the car, car ride home, shopping at Publix and then about 30 minutes after we got home. My boy can sleep!!
Today we are expecting his grandparents and great grandparents for the weekend. While it might be a little hectic, I am so glad he will get to know his extended family.
I have more pictures to share and if he takes another super nap, I can work on it from home. Stupid computer! Otherwise, I will run up to my office this week to upload and post.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Proof that babies learn in utero
We are always telling ChaCha to "Go Potty" when we take her off her cage and about every 15 minutes while we have her on us. Its easier to catch it on a napkin than find it on us later. Jeremy and I joked that Nathan's first words would be Go Potty since he will hear it all the time. Well, today I was holding Nathan and picked ChaCha up (trying to get her used to him) and told her to go potty. Right then, Nathan unloaded in his diaper. I couldnt help but laugh. I know it was total coincidence but that gummy little smile told me he knew he did something funny.
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