Friday, September 26, 2008

getting it off my chest

This is a post for me to get a thought out of my brain and just "say" it out loud. I know it will seem silly. I feel badly even thinking about it but the thought is there so before I can let it go, I have to acknowledge it, right? So, here goes.

I am a little sad I didnt have a water birth. Dont get me wrong, I loved my birth experience. But, a part of me really wanted the water birth. I dont know why or what would be different but its something I think about. I loved laboring in the water and just wanted the whole experience of it. Deep down, I know it was best for me to have delivered in the bed since his shoulders were hard to deliver. We would have been under a little more pressure to get him out quickly in the water and moving to the bed with his head out would have been a crazy process. So, I know things went the way they were supposed to, but... Again, I know its silly. I have an amazing baby and 99% had the birth I wanted. Its not like I had to transfer for an emergency C or anything so I dont know why I even think about it. Bah. OK, off my chest.

On a side note, what a completely different week from one year ago. Today, I woke up to a gummy smile and eventually green poop from a happy baby. Beats the bleeding and negative pregnancy test from a year ago today. I dont know why I even thought about it. Just sort of dawned on me yesterday. Time heals all things. =)

3 comments:

Kristin @ www.amomontherun.com said...

I'm sorry Amy - it's totally normal to have the feelings that you do. No matter what, you did an amazing job and have a gorgeous son!

Unknown said...

Ditto K! She put it perfectly. :)

Unknown said...

I agree with K. You did the best job you could. And, he's healthy, so that 's all that matters, right?