Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Blood boiling

A connection at work sent me this letter about her experience last weekend. She had a home birth with the birth center and we have talked a bit about breastfeeding and whatnot. I am outraged at this. I have taken her name out for her privacy. She was far nicer than I would have been! I encouraged her to send copies to LLL (La Leche League) and Healthy Moms Healthy Babies here in Jax. I would be all up in the newspaper too. What an asshat!!!!

July 20, 2008

City of Jacksonville
Parks Department
220 E Bay Street
Jacksonville Florida 32202

Re: Harassed for breastfeeding at a city park

Dear Director:

I am a 31-year-old mother of three who lives, works and plays in Jacksonville, Florida. I have chosen to breastfeed each of my children as I believe that the health and emotional benefits far outweigh any perceived inconvenience. My youngest child, S, is 5 months old. Family economics required that I return to work when she was only 2 months old. Although it has been challenging to continue to breastfeed while working full-time, it has been well worth every effort. The wonderful people that I work with have been flexible and understanding of my needs to express milk during the workday and to take an extended lunch hour in order to nurse S midday. I have accepted these challenges with open arms, unlike the unexpected challenge that I encountered yesterday at a city park.

On Saturday, July 19th, I took my 3 children for an outing to the Kids Kampus at Metropolitan Park. They were very excited to play in the water area. We arrived early in order to avoid most of the crowds. I had decided that my 2 older children would play in the water while myself and S watched them from the benches in the roped off area that was labeled “adult section.” This “adult section” of the water playground is separated from the water portion and provides a cool, dry place to sit and supervise.

Initially, S was sitting in her stroller, content to watch the children play. Eventually, she became restless and hungry. I discreetly nursed her. I am a modest person and can say with confidence that no-one saw any portion of my breast during this process. I covered myself very thoroughly with a towel. While nursing, I was approached by a young man who told me that S must remain in the stroller at all times unless she was wearing a “Little Swimmer” diaper. At this point, I was not willing to force S to quit nursing until she was finished or to leave my other 2 children unattended in order to nurse her elsewhere. Unwilling to argue with the young man, and knowing that S would soon be finished, I simply acknowledged the young man’s request and told him that we would not be getting in the water at all. As stated, S and I were not in contact with the water at all. Both of us were thoroughly dressed, not in swimwear, and sitting on a bench in the roped-off sitting section. It would be ridiculous for me to go to the expense of purchasing “Huggies Little Swimmers” diapers in order that I might hold my infant while sitting on a bench at the park. I find it somewhat amusing that the park employees seem to think that by requiring infants to wear the Huggies Little Swimmers brand of diapers they are somehow guaranteeing that no urine or feces will escape into the water.

S finished nursing within minutes of the young man approaching me, so I put her in her stroller as I had been asked. Although I adamantly disliked and disagreed with the rule, I didn’t feel at that point that it was worth conflicting over. I was then approached by another park employee, who I assumed was a manager, by the name of Tom Wright. Mr. Wright began to inform me that I could not breast-feed my daughter at this park due to the hazardous nature of breast milk as a bodily fluid. He informed me that I could be potentially exposing other children to disease while nursing my child. (As a reminder, I was not in the water or in contact with the water. I was sitting on a bench, covered with a towel while nursing, and not within 10 feet of anyone else.) I felt very humiliated as Mr. Wright also sought to educate me on the high rate of HIV transfer from a mother to an infant. I was speechless. Obviously, I cannot pass a disease onto other people who are around me by breastfeeding my infant. If this was the case, I suppose that breastfeeding mothers should be banned from all public areas at all times, whether in the process of nursing or not, due to the possibility of this hazardous substance leaking onto our shirts or some other ridiculous nonsense. How can Mr. Wright guarantee that a child who is drinking a bottle is not also drinking expressed breast milk in that bottle? In regards to Mr. Wright’s lecture regarding HIV transfer, I am not HIV positive and certainly would not be breastfeeding if I was. His information regarding HIV presence in breast-milk was irrelevant to the situation and something he had no business discussing with me.

There were several infants in the water, wearing “Little Swimmers” and playing with their parents. I doubt Mr. Wright has the time or ability to micromanage the possibility of one of these infants spitting up in the water or urinating. As a parent, I am aware of the fact that other children are in the water with my child and may be doing any number of things and yet I still choose to allow my children to play in the water. There is an inherit risk in all activities. The fact that I was breastfeeding on a bench posed no threat at all.

If this would have been the end of the matter, I probably would not be writing this letter. Mr. Wright was apparently not satisfied that I understood the severity of the situation. Later that morning, while my children and I were at the bike riding portion of the park, I was once again approached by Mr. Wright. I was not breastfeeding at the time. He brought to me an internet print-out regarding the high rate of HIV transfer between mothers and infants. He attempted to engage in a discussion regarding the hazardous nature of breast-milk and strongly urged me to read the article. I stopped him in mid-sentence and stated that I did not wish to discuss it with him and I also let him know that he had thoroughly embarrassed me. I do not understand what point he was trying to make. As stated, I do not have HIV. Even if I did, it still would be none of his business. I was highly annoyed that he had sought me out in a different area of the park in order to further harass me.

In conclusion, I felt harassed and embarrassed by Mr. Wright. He was overstepping his duties as a park employee in his attempts to educate me on a subject on which I am already thoroughly educated. As a tax paying citizen, I have the right to enjoy the parks our city has to offer. The city should take steps to ensure that their employees are properly informed regarding breastfeeding and the Florida law. The Florida law protects my right as a mother to breastfeed my infant anywhere. Increasing breastfeeding rates is an international, national and state health priority and should not be hindered by city employees like Mr. Wright who seek to discourage it.

CC: Councilman Daniel Davis
117 West Duval St., Suite 425

Jacksonville, FL 32202

Anyway, If this pisses you off as much as it does me, please post a comment so she knows she has some support. I am floored at the whole thing and hope she gets a response from the city.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that! People should not talk about that which they do not understand, and certainly shouldn't lecture a woman who is doing wonderful things for her children! And swim diapers don't even hold in urine. Nice that they're concerned with breast milk but not urine. Did he expect her to start spraying everyone or something?

noyoucomehere said...

Gosh - it's easy to get really angry about these kinds of situations but I'm just sort of floored by the ignorance. I'm so sorry that this happened. I'm sure the employee will be corrected and hopefully not be able to harrass anyone else. I'm just in shock.

A. Dennette said...

What an embarrassing situation! I would have been so embarrassed as well as really ticked off. Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift and bonding time between a mother and child. It's not something that anyone other than the mother and child should be concerned with. I honestly am floored that this man would openly seek her out to "educate" her on HIV. That is definite harrassment and honestly she could have grounds to bring legal action against him.

Anonymous said...

This situation is ludicrous. To think that this man would be so condescending as to assume that this obviously intelligent woman needed to be lectured as if she were a child herself, well it simply infuriates me. People who assume that others are less educated than themselves cause far more problems than they solve, and this is proof-positive.

It also seems to me that this man (and the first one) was so absorbed in the park rules that he lost sight of the point - to keep all children safe and healthy. That includes this woman and her children - and therefore includes her right to breastfeed without having undue attention drawn to her. I doubt anyone else at the park would have noticed a breastfeeding mother had this man not engaged in an overdrawn conversation about its "hazards" (even using that word regarding breastfeeding makes me want to gag).

I am glad that this lady has been able to successfully breastfeed all of her children - not all women can make it work, so congratulations to her. That is an accomplishment, and I hope this incident will not make her hesitate to publicly do so in the future.

Kimberly said...

That's awful! And ridiculous! I can't believe that someone who knows NOTHING about a topic followed her around lecturing her. And the preliminary stuff was just as bad. (I hate rules that serve no purpose!).

I hope you'll let us know when she gets a response from the city.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Wow. He shoudl be forced to attend court ordered breast feeding classes LOL. I hope he loses his job.

Kaleena said...

It's so sad that things liek this happen. Can you imagine if your friend was a mom struggling with breastfeeding. How heartbreaking.
And unfortunatley your friend is not alone. I've already come up with a plan if this were to happen to me. I'd call the police. There are laws in most states protecting breastfeeding mothers and it should be those hindering you to get in trouble. I'd try and press charges.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Wright's behavior and those of any other park employees regarding nursing in public is completely unacceptable and uneducated. Those employees should at minimum be suspended without pay and required to take sensitivity training as well as have a mandatory session with a lactation consultant so that they are properly educated in the future. Furthermore, those employees need to be retrained in this particular states laws regarding breastfeeding in public. Shame on them!

Anonymous said...

I think it is terrible that that man was harrassing her because that is what it was plain and simple. He was uncomfortable with BF for whatever reason and embarrassed your poor friend. I definitely wouldn't have been as nice. I would of asked him if was aware that HIV is passed by direct contact with body fluids not just close proximity and that is actually difficult to get HIV even if she had spilt breast milk, was HIV positive, and anyone happened to touch even if they had an open cut. That guy shouldn't be allowed to be around people if he doesn't have manners and should have to go to OSHA training since he thinks he's such an expert.

educated also said...

I breasfed all three of my children and I have a small problem with this. If it is a policy of the park then certainly it could be addressed and the policy changed. However, where is the personal responsibilty of the mother. The mother had two other small children in the park. Who was to supervise and manage those children while she chose to feed her younger one? Had one of the other two got injured in some way where was her ability to take care of them. I feel she should have gathered her three children, sit them down on a blanket in the grass and had some quiet time while baby was being fed. Personal responsibility comes with all things. This mother obvilously dis not plan very well and she should not hold someone else accountable. The park manager was only doing the job he was tasked to do with the policies available.

Teresa Roman said...

I too have had a problem with the employees at Kids Kampus. They are very rude. I brought my son there last week and was appalled at the way I was approached by a park employee who kept harrassing me about my son's swim diaper and insisting it was a pull up and not a swim diaper even though he was indeed wearing a swim diaper. They made me pull his bathing suit off twicw to prove to them he was wearing a swim diaper and still kept arguing with me that it wasn't a swim diaper. This incident has encouraged me to write in and complain about this place. A park should be a place where families and children can enjoy themselves and not be harrassed. Otherwise what is the point of even having this park around to begin with. I too am a breastfeeding mother and get aggravated by people's lack of approval about an activity that is healthy for babies. What is wrong with some people????